You’ve heard people say it and you’ve probably said it yourself, “When I’m a parent, my kids will never do so-and-so.” And if you said it, you really believed it. I was a Children’s Pastor for several years and I said that sentence so many times it’s embarrassing! I have always been able to clearly see why and how parents were missing the mark with their kids. The problem is, I don’t think you can always see those same mistakes in yourself. Or maybe it’s just harder to discipline the little darlings that are your own flesh and blood.

These past few weeks and months I have felt like I am the worst parent in the world. And I do not say that as hyperbole. All the roads I thought were leading to obedience and responsiveness in my children were doing the exact opposite.

I finally picked up a recording of a radio interview with Dr. Kevin Leman based on his book, Have a New Kid by Friday. The second I was finished with the CD,  I gave it to my husband and made him listen to it. Then I borrowed the book from the library and read it in one day.

Cover via Amazon

I started to put these ideas into practice in our home and I have already seen a huge difference. My kids are more responsive, I feel more in control and the underlying struggle, drama and emotion has been diminished. Dr. Leman’s main idea is “reality discipline”. It’s letting your actions speak louder than your warnings, spankings and lectures.

I was just going to share one or two of my favorite tips from Dr. Leman’s book but as I was writing the post got to be so long, I thought it might be fun to do a play-by-play of the book. Then we could unpack one chapter each day…just like the book suggests. What do you think? Wanna play?

Next Monday, July 19th we’ll start a week long series tackling some of the issues in Dr. Leman’s book. I’ll give you some of my favorite parts. Then we can discuss in our forum how this practically works for our families.

If you’d like to get the book before we start discussing it, I found it at the Family Christian Store this weekend for only $5. (On their website, too!) The audio is only $7.98 on ChristianAudio.com. Or you can always try the library, that’s where I read it to begin with!

I’m looking forward to talking to you about this. Parenting is not for the weak. And it’s certainly not for the solitary. I need people to help me and I’d love to talk with you about this book and these principles!

photo by mdany

You might remember that I have an author-reader crush on author Sally Lloyd Jones. She is the author of THE BEST BOOK IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD: The Jesus Storybook Bible. She also authors several other Bible story books one of which is Tiny Bear’s Bible. My son got this as a baby present (or I got it as a shower present, whatever.) and I really love the short Bible story poems with a personal application at the end. And Asa likes it because…well, look:

Sally Lloyd Jones has a new baby Bible storybook out called (are you ready for this?) Baby’s Hug-a-Bible. Yep, a huggable Bible:

(oh, you can’t tell from this picture–it’s furry!)

However, beneath the funny fur is a really sweet (and very practical) Bible story book. Each story is laid out in questions like, this one about Moses:

Who saved a baby in a boat?

Who kept that baby’s boat afloat? …

Who cares for you in just that way?

And gives you all you need today?

Yes, God’s the one who, day by day,

Will care for you in every way!

For babies (and toddlers and preschoolers), this kind of story is perfect—the rhyme, the questions and the most important: THE PROMISES! I love hearing stories that show God’s promises to be true. I’d love to plant this whole idea in Asa’s head NOW so he will remember it always!

And can I tell you something else that might sound weird? When I was in college I interned at a church that had one of the premiere children’s ministries in the country. In their nursery department they introduced the Bible by singing the B-I-B-L-E and by helping the kids hug the Bible.

Can I just say that there is nothing cuter than watching a toddler see a Bible, pick it up and hug it. Since we’ve had this Hug-a-Bible, I’ve been making helping Asa hug it. And he does! Oh, with a fierceness! But can I tell you something? He loves this book. Are there any other books we hug? He knows that we think this book is special because we hug it. And that’s what I want. I want him to know the Bible is the most special, the most important book in his life.

I’m not suggesting that hugging a Bible will make your kids love God. I’m just all about introducing kids to God on their level. And right now, the Hug-a-Bible is showing my 18 month old son how important the Bible is!

For more fun book recommendations visit The Adventure of Motherhood’s Feed Me Books Friday! Also linked to The Other Mama’s Friday Favorites, & Read Aloud Thursday at Hope is the Word.

Disclosure: I asked to review this book. I was given the book to facilitate that review.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I have been trying to choose books about love for my daughter, Juliet, and I to read together each night. I want her to know how deeply and unconditionally I love her and also how God’s love for her far surpasses my own great love.

As I looked at our shelves the other night, The Runaway Bunnyby Margaret Wise Brown jumped out at me. “That’s perfect!” I thought to myself. We’ve read this book a million times before, but we’ve never had a conversation about how God loves us as unwaveringly and as fiercely as the mother bunny loves her little bunny.

If you’ve never read the book, it begins like this:

“Once there was a little bunny who wanted to run away. So he said to his mother, “I am running away.” “If you run away,” said his mother, “I will run after you. For you are my little bunny.”

“If you run after me,” said the little bunny, “I will become a fish in a trout stream and I will swim away from you.” If you become a fish in a trout stream,” said his mother, “I will become a fisherman and I will fish for you.”

The story continues in this way with the little bunny coming up with another and yet another thing to turn into and his mother responding with how she will chase after him and find him NO MATTER WHAT. It’s a beautiful story of unconditional love.

As I thought about the picture of love presented in this book, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the love stories of the Bible such as the book of Hosea, the story of the prodigal son, and the greatest love story of all: Jesus coming to earth and becoming human just because He loved us so much. No matter how far we ran from him, and no matter what we became, He was willing to leave heaven behind and give up His life because we are His children and He loves us.

I thought to myself, “This is going to be great! We’re going to read a great book together AND have a meaningful spiritual conversation!”

It didn’t exactly turn out that way. Here’s what happened:

As we began reading the story together, Juliet asked me, “Mommy, why is that bunny running away? and I said, “Why do you think he is running away?” and she said, “To join the circus!” (Towards the end of the book, the bunny tells his mother he will join the circus.)

I took this moment to tell her that I was like the mother bunny and that if she ever ran away, I would always go after her because she was my little bunny. She just sort of nodded and then we continued reading.

A few pages later, Juliet suddenly jumped up, and exclaimed, “I’m the little bunny!” and ran away. I put the book down and proceeded to chase her down the hall and tackle her in my room.

I again reminded her that I would always catch her because she was my little bunny. She smiled, giggled, and then announced, “I’m a butterfly, I’m going to fly away from you!” and ran down the hall. I responded with, “I’m a net and I will catch you!”

We played this spontaneous little game over and over again—she was a little bird; I was a nest. She was a lady bug; I was a little girl with a bug-catcher. She was a roley poley, and I was a pile of dirt. Again and again, she ran away from me, and again and again I caught her.

Then we sat down, finished reading the book, and got ready for bed. As I tucked her in, I said, “God is like the mother bunny, too. No matter what you do, no matter how far you run away from Him, He will always come after you because you are His little bunny and He loves you.”

And she said, “Hey. You have hair in your nose.”

So maybe we didn’t get the meaningful spiritual conversation in, (we did have a discussion about the benefits and purposes of nose hair) but we did make some memories and invented a fun, new game! Even though she wasn’t really ready to talk about God’s love for her, I think the seed was planted.

And like that mother bunny, I’ll keep chasing her down and telling her tirelessly about God’s love, over and over again. And the best part is, I don’t have to do it on my own. He won’t stop His pursuit of her either.

Vanessa is a regular contributor to Impress Your Kids. She is a stay-at-home mom to an energetic three-year-old, Juliet. They spend their days together reading books, attempting crafts, and occasionally beating tree trunks with large sticks. You can read more about their adventures at Silly Eagle Books.