We’ve all heard it before but one of the most effective tools we have in teaching our kids about anything is to first be the example. We can tell our kids to do something, but unless they see you doing it, the chances of them taking it upon themselves to follow-suit is slim (especially as they get older). I don’t want to focus just on the negative: yes in order for your children to not smoke, not swear or not engage in disobedient behavior is to not do it either, but I want to focus on the positive, esp. when it comes to teaching our children how to walk with the Lord.

Teaching children scripture and basic biblical principles is incredibly important and essential to the building blocks of their faith – I do not want to discount that. But what I feel is more important is how YOU are working out your faith in front of your children. My parents tried but it didn’t hold water and as an adult I found myself floundering as to how to walk with the Lord. I was never taught how to study the scriptures, I was never encouraged to pray and to learn to pray by just the simple act of praying and I wasn’t affirmed in how important it is to spend time getting to know the Lord.

We teach our children a lot of things through direct means, but sometimes the things that have the biggest impact on their lives are taught by indirect means. I encourage you to learn more about the spiritual disciplines and not only practice them alone, but in front of your children. This can have an amazing impact on your own personal walk with the Lord, but also teach your children how to live in relationship with Christ. One of the spiritual disciplines my husband and I participate in each week is silence and solitude. We decide the day and the time and then take turns so there is someone to watch the kids. We have been doing this for a few years now and when one of us leaves for our appointed time, our four year old will now say, “Have fun with Jesus!” He knows where I am going and what it’s purpose is: to spend time with my Savior. He also asks when will he be old enough to go with me (talk about encouraging my heart!). While his time of silence and solitude may look different than mine when he is old enough to practice it, the fact that he is seeing mommy and daddy do it, and what we share with him about our time is setting him up with the knowledge and the confidence to be a student of the Master.

Some ideas to try to easing yourself and your family into the spiritual disciplines:

Thanksgiving and Praise. Spend a few moments everyday thanking Jesus for the gifts he has given you. Let the kids share whatever they feel like, no matter how small or silly, and encourage them to thank Jesus with their hearts and also their voices. This can also lead your family in a time of worship. Worship is basically telling God who he is and that you’re happy about it. If singing worship songs is easier, than do that. But it can be as easy as simply saying “God is so good to us. He is an amazing Father!”

Prayer. Chances are you are already praying for your children, so now extend this practice into praying with your children. Kids are very eager to talk so as you pray together, encourage them to pray to God on their own. My four year used to resist this but each time we prayed I would tell him there is nothing that he can not tell God, that God loves him so much he’s just happy to talk with him. Now I will hear him talking in his bed before falling asleep at night and the next morning he’ll tell me he was talking to God all night long.

Rest. While practicing the Sabbath for some families is incredibly difficult (this is one that we have done and are trying to do again and each week we struggle at some point in the day), allotting time each week to spend together as a family encourages children to understand the resting aspect of the Sabbath. To stop moving at such a fast pace and enjoy being together as a family. This specific time can then spread into talking about or partaking in other spiritual disciplines.

Practicing the spiritual disciplines can transform your own walk with the Lord, but it can have far-reaching effects in the lives of your children. What a blessing it is for them to know how their parents strive to seek God, but also that you are teaching them how to do the same. To learn more about the spiritual disciplines, check out this encouraging and informative message by my husband. Of course I am partial, but it has some great information and counsel in it as well.

photo by melodramababs

The snow is gone and spring is teasing us with upper 60 degree temps and sweetly singing birds. Yesterday I took the kids to the park for a picnic and good spin around the playground. We were there for at least 2 hours. When it was almost time to go I gave Lydia ample warning: “We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.” and then, “Lydia, you can go down the slide two more times and then we’re leaving.” She was in the middle of playing with a new friend and did NOT want to leave. She walked up to me with a pouty look on her face. I bent down and said, “Lydia. What is Philippians 2:14?”

She said (slightly begrudgingly), “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” (<–I want to remember that voice forever!)

I replied, “OK. That means ‘leave the park without complaining or arguing.’ Now, go finish swinging and then say good-bye to your friend.”

She walked back to her friend, pushed the swing once or twice and when I said, “OK, let’s go!” She skipped happily to me and the car.

I kid you not.

I didn’t say anything right away. I got everyone buckled in, rolled down the windows and started driving. Then I said, “Lydia, do you know what happened back there? You wanted to disobey. But when you said God’s Word, your spirit got stronger! And you obeyed! How does that feel?”

Lydia: “Yaaaay! I was obedient! I love being obedient!! Yaaay!” (complete with leg kicks and squeals)

Again, I kid you not.

In these moments (which are not everyday, of course), I can almost see and feel that God’s Word is literally a sword. I can see how God’s Word is living and active! I’ve noticed on the days where I don’t remind Lydia of scripture and we don’t talk about God’s Word, that we all have a rougher day. Neither of us are easy to please. But when I take the first step and keep us BOTH in line with God’s Word, her actions respond to it. I can SEE the seeds of God’s Word growing in her life!

This is what God meant in Deuteronomy when he told us to talk about His commandments when we walk along the road and when we lay down and get up. We need a constant flow of conversation revolving around God’s Word.

Another thing that’s been helping us keep God’s Word at the forefront is books. (Remember Grandma’s Attic?) Well, I found two more short books about obedience that you might like. If I’m too upset to have a normal conversation, I like to pull these out at bed and naptimes. They are easy conversation starters on a child’s level.

Mommy, May I Hug the Fish?by Crystal Bowman

A little boy goes through his day with the constant question, “Mommy, May I…?” Sometimes she says yes and sometimes she says no. It’s a good book that reminds kids to not only ask before they act, but to obey.

Don’t Do That, Dexter by Jodee McConnaughhay

This book is a little more to the heart of the matter. Dexter is an imaginative, rambunctious little boy who disregards his parents warnings and then gets hurt or in trouble as a result. The best part of this book is that every page has a refrain, “Obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1). So, Lydia has inadvertantly memorized that scripture.

This book is apparently not in print anymore but it looks like you can buy it for ONE PENNY from Amazon. So. Yeah. Buy it.

How do you keep God’s Word in the middle of your kids’ day?

photo by godogo

We’re moving on from Intelligent in our “God Wants Me To Be” book to Ethusiastic (still taken from our Christian Characteristic Traits list)… 

Enthusiastic – Being excited and zealous about life!

Isn’t that kid enthusiastic?  I believe he is jumping on a bed…  What kid wouldn’t be enthusiastic about that?  It’s really easy to be enthusiastic about fun things, like jumping on a bed, or running through a sprinkler, or chocolate.  But when it comes to things we’re not so keen on…

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men.” Colossians 3:23

The Word says “Whatever you do…” and “work at it… as working…” – God calls us to be enthusiastic about everything.  Everything we do – whatever we do.  In play and work.  In chocolate and…

…learning from your mother.  Yes, enthusiasm flowed very nicely from my last post about intelligence.  Remember?  God wants us to be intelligent – someone who is eager to learn!  Our first day using our new curriculum was Monday.  And it was like pulling nails.  We started off very simple – I asked him to circle the date on a little calendar I made for him.  And he started crying… saying he couldn’t.  That he didn’t know how to – when I know full well he circles everything under the sun on a normal day!

This actually has been a phrase he’s been repeating recently: “I can’t!” From putting down the toilet seats to drawing circles on a calendar – all things he has done many times before… When he doesn’t want to do it, all of a sudden he “can’t.”

We stopped right there, with red crayon in his hand, tears running down his cheeks.  Since this was an issue of control, not of actual ability, I grabbed up a Bible and read to him Philippians 2:14 (fresh on my mind from Amanda’s post ): “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” I gave him a huge hug, and I told him that when I asked him to do things, I knew he could do them!  I wouldn’t ask him to do something I knew he couldn’t do – and if I did, I would help him do it!  God wants him to have a happy heart at all times, not a complaining (crying) or arguing (angry) heart.  When Daddy or Mommy asked him to do anything, he should do it with a happy heart!

Elias started laughing through his tears – all it took was hearing that God wanted him to have a happy heart!  He took his red crayon and drew a careful circle around the date, and then we continued on with our little lesson – no more arguing or crying!  I dare say he even had fun doing our “school time” together.  Later that morning, we came up with a new chart for him:

When he does things with a happy heart, he gets a mark under the happy heart side.  If he argues, complains, or disobeys, he gets a mark under the angry heart.  Granted, right now the angry heart is winning out.  But he is working on it!

For example – today was Elias’s 3rd dentist appointment ever.  The first two times were rather unsuccessful – no cleanings involved, and last time, he wouldn’t even open his mouth.  But today… boy!  We had some “trial runs” in our bathroom during the past week, starring me as a dentist, and we talked the way there about being brave and excited about seeing the dentist.  We even talked about not arguing with Mommy while we were there or complaining to the dentist.  The appointment was wonderful – with a little breakdown in the middle, between cleaning the bottom and top teeth.  He started crying and saying, “I can’t!” again.   But with a prayer and some encouragement, he got the top teeth cleaned, too!  He was very enthusiastic about the whole appointment afterwards, and he has told everyone we’ve seen for the rest of the day about it.

It seems like a silly example – being enthusiastic about seeing the dentist.  But that’s a part of “whatever we do” – a part of everyday life.  It’s not always going to be fun and chocolate.  It’s going to get boring and painful and un-fun for Elias at times.  If his heart can be happy in all things, at all times, in playing cars and in homeschool, he will learn a part of Philippians 4:11: …for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.

What else can we do to help our children be enthusiastic about the un-fun things?  How can we help model this character trait for them in our lives?

this post submitted to Your Life Your Blog!

The next page in our “God Wants Me To Be” book taken from our Christian Characteristic Traits list is: Intelligent – Someone who is eager to learn!

Proverbs 1:5a says, “Let wise people listen and add to what they have learned.” I love that in God’s eyes it is not our IQ that makes us intelligent!  It is our desire to continue to learn new things… to add to what we have learned.

Many of you know that I plan on homeschooling the boys, and I’ve been using the internet/my brain to help me plan preschool-type activities for the boys for the past couple of years.  In fact, many of the things we’ve done have wound up here, on Impress Your Kids!  But sometimes, my brain doesn’t work the way I want it to, even when I’m looking at ideas on the internet.  I wind up struggling with things to do during the week of repeating things we’ve done before.

So I did it.  I bought a curriculum.  I can’t believe it… it feels like such a huge step to me – this is really happening!  And I didn’t even get a preschool curriculum – Elias already knows what the preschool set would be teaching him.  I went straight for the kindergarten curriculum!  Wow….

This is what we got… All of this is a complete year’s worth of lessons!

• Alphabet Flashcards
• Easy-to-use Teacher’s Manual {BONUS!}
• Student Materials (includes student worksheets, teaching charts, game cards, monthly calendars, short vowel song cards, and a 100 chart for math!)
• Cuisenaire Rods Alphabet Book
• Cuisenaire Rods Small Group Pack
• What Really Happened to the Dinosaurs?
• Introduction to Classical Music
• Insect Lore Ant Hill {seriously, how cool is this?}

Can you tell I’m excited about this?  I’m excited about the structure, the constancy, the content, the… everything (This will not take the place of the things I am already working on with the boys – this is in addition to all the stuff I post here!)!

Now, I share this not because I want to say how intelligent my kids are – not at all.  Remember this?  Elias still does not believe what I tell his as truth or fact for most things.  This reluctance to learn from me is also combined with his desire to go to a real elementary school – because that’s where learning happens, or so he tells me.  Therefore, he does not want to learn at home or from me.  Period.

However, I am praying hard.  We are participating in a weekly homeschooling co-op with some friends who have older boys, and that helps a bit (he sees the older boys are learning from their moms and from me, so it makes it OK).  We also have some dear friends who will also be using the My Father’s World curriculum for their pre-school kids, and we will be doing some activities with them as we go through the study.  I hope that surrounding Elias with prayer and learning will instill in him the desire to learn – the eagerness to learn that God wants for us!

That’s what I’m praying for – that the boys will always want to “…listen and add to what they have learned (Proverbs 1:5a).” Being wise and intelligent on God’s terms is so much better than being wise or intelligent in the world’s eyes!

How do you try to instill the love of learning in your kids?

Disclaimer: I am not in anyway affiliated with My Father’s World – I bought the products myself and am sharing my excitement/opinion with you.  We are, however, a part of Amazon.com’s affiliate program, so if you purchase items from Amazon.comthrough the links in this post, we will receive a small affiliate payment at no additional cost to you.

This post is linked up with Homeschool Creations’ Preschool Corner!

Lately Lydia and I have been cooking while Asa takes his first nap. I am not a cook by nature. My dad and brother are the chefs in the family. They love food and understand how it works together. I just follow recipes. I was recently introduced to once a month cooking (also called batch cooking) and since then I have started cooking dinner during breakfast or lunch, making hundreds of pancakes at a time or cooking 12 chicken breasts at once just so I can freeze them and have easy meals for the rest of the week!

So the last few days Lydia and I have made a shepherd’s pie, crustless mini-quiche and meatballs. As we’ve spent this time together I’ve learned a few things…

1. Matching aprons are best. Lydia and I have several different aprons but Lydia’s favorite are the matching “Mommy and Me” aprons. I love that Lydia wants to match me. It’s such a reminder to be worthy of imitation.

2. Cooking teaches obedience. Lydia wonders if she can stir a certain way, pour as much as she wants or handle a knife. She’s learning to obey the recipe, trust my knowledge and be meticulous in following the rules. This is a double lesson because the results are always good!

3. I’m turning my daughter into a homemaker. Making quiche and browning ground beef doesn’t seem too exciting. But I’m planting small seeds of being a home manager, a caregiver and a woman who loves her family. Yesterday we were at a bakery and she said, “Mommy, you could learn to make bread. Then you could teach me and I wouldn’t have to come here [the bakery] to buy bread when I’m big!”.

4. Cooking teaches confidence. Lydia may only be breaking eggs or stirring something that doesn’t even need to be stirred, but when we pull a delicious meal out of the oven, Lydia believes she made it by herself! When we eat that meal and her Daddy and I rave about it, she glows! I could just cook by myself and tell her she’s too young to help. But instead, I’m giving her confidence and showing her that she can do anything!

I want to be purposeful in every area of my parenting. Cooking with Lydia has brought another dimension. It’s helped me realize that everything I do with her makes a lasting impression. I’m determined to lead my daughter on a path that will honor God—be it with a craft, a story or a crustless mini quiche.

Respectfully submitted to the fabulous Finer Thing Friday by Amy.

We’ve been praying with Juliet ever since she was a tiny baby. Every night before she goes to bed, all three of us get together and have a family prayer time. And although, we have made a habit out of this, the actual process we go through has evolved over the years.

When she was an infant, Ben would hold her in his arms and we would stand together and pray with her before placing her in her crib at night. Our prayers would always be about her and about how grateful we were to God for sending her into our lives.

As she began to understand and speak herself, we added praying for others to our prayer time–for our family members, friends, and Compassion children.

To help her get involved in the praying, I decided to borrow an idea from Ben’s family and also from some missionary friends of ours.

Ben grew up with the tradition of placing all the Christmas cards his family received into a basket and then choosing one card at every mealtime. The family would then pray specifically for the family on the Christmas card. Our missionary friends do something similar. They have family photos of all of their supporters and then choose one a day to pray for. My friend Kristi tells me that her kids really connect to the photos and are able to pray more specifically when they can see who they are praying for.

I wanted to make our prayer time more concrete for Juliet and also give her a way to feel like she was part of the process, so I searched for a box that would be our “prayer box.”

It’s an old cigar box that I had picked up awhile back and didn’t know what to do with it. It said “Julieta”, so I couldn’t resist! I thought it was beautiful and it is the perfect size for holding pictures.

Inside, you can see we keep photos of our family members, friends, and Compassion children. Every night, Juliet reaches in selects who we are praying for and then holds it in her hands as we pray. She LOVES it!

We have a lot of Christmas cards in the box and also a few birth announcements. For our family members, I tried to print out pictures of them with Juliet in the picture as well. This always makes her smile when she sees herself with Mimi or Poppy or one of her cousins.

Lately, our process has changed again. Instead of drawing a picture from the prayer box, we simply ask Juliet who we should pray for tonight. Each night, she comes up with someone new! She has grown out of the prayer box–as she no longer needs a visual cue to help her decide who to pray for. And she has even begun to chime in and add her own thoughts to our prayers!

And even though I am kind of sad to see it fall into disuse, I am happy to see my daughter growing and able to take an active role in our nightly prayer time. And I’m sure I’ll be able to find another use for that beautiful box.

What about you? How do you get your children to pray with you? Do you have any family routines or traditions?

Exhort: to incite by argument or advice : urge strongly : to give warnings or advice : make urgent appeals.

If you were to start a new series on your blog that you would hope to use to encourage yourself and others, I would exhort you to start with a simple word or idea – I do not recommend starting with teaching a 4 year old and a 2 year old about exhortation.

… let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). As parents, we are continually exhorting our children – encouraging, urging forward, teaching our little ones how to love and do good deeds.  Even if we don’t think we are exhorting, we are – I think it’s a natural part of teaching those we love.  We love them, and we want them to love and to do well and to do good things, so we exhort!

Teaching our little ones to be exhorters themselves can be difficult.  I think Elias has a gift of encouragement – he is always telling people how well they are doing and exclaiming over their abilities/attempts/activities.  But I think the natural self, even if gifted with encouragement, has a hard time exhorting.  I mentioned last time how Elias encourages Donovan towards trouble instead of away… wanting to do “fun” things that are not allowed (jumping on beds, throwing balls in the house, etc.), so he delights in Donovan’s lack of self control as he does those things Elias knows he shouldn’t.  Tattling is also a part of this…  when a child comes to “tattle” on another, he is missing his chance to exhort the other to do good.

We have punished Elias for egging his little brother on and for tattling, but we have not exhorted him to exhort Donovan on to good deeds.  That has been our first step.  I think I will also be making a chart (see Amanda’s posts here and here) to help him see when he has the chance to exhort to good deeds or disobedience.

And after starting off with a quiet bang, we quickly fizzled out on exhortation crafts.  That’s OK, though.  Mulling over it for a while and continuing to talk to the boys about it has helped me to come up with something that I think is really fun, and we’ll add to it with each character trait we study…

Introducing “God Wants Me To Be… a book about Christian character traits,” by Elias and Donovan!

I cut out a LOT of pictures of people from magazines, and with each trait we work on, we will copy the trait, definition, and Bible verse into our book, and the boys will select what picture(s) they think illustrate the character trait.

Here is a picture of a little girl telling her friend how to love and do good deeds!

At the end of The List we will have a book of 51 verses that tell us how God wants us to be.  These are similar to the other verse “posters” we’ve made in the past, and I’ve wanted to bind them all up into a “book,” too – perhaps we’ll have a couple of volumes of verses that the boys will be able to look back upon for years to come.

What do you think about your role as exhorter?  How do you help your children encourage others?

“The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, and be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26

About a year ago I was graduated from counseling. I had spent some time dealing with issues from my childhood and early adult life and it was no accident that a particular book came into my life at just the right time. I thought it would be a good complement to the other Christian-based parenting books I had, but had no clue how much it would single-handedly change the way I communicate with my children and also accept Christ’s unyielding, unwavering and undying love for me.

First, a little background: I was raised in a Christian home, my parents were followers of the Biblical law, but I was never taught what it was like to live in relationship with the Lord. My parents didn’t really know how to live in relationship with me, in all honesty, and I spent most of my adolescence seeking their affirmation and approval. What I didn’t realize at the time was what I was really hungering for was their blessing over my life. And just as Esau begged his dying father for a blessing, knowing it had already been given to Jacob (Genesis 27:38), I, too, would never receive my blessing from my parents. I spent a journey of over fifteen years searching for acceptance and approval in relationships only to find heartache and disappointment instead. Reading this book made me come face-to-face with what left a gaping wound in my heart and allowed the Lord to not only heal it, but teach me to avoid inflicting the same wound on my children.

The book is called The Blessingand it is aptly named since it teaches you how to give the biblical blessing, not only to your children but to your spouse, to your neighbors, even to the cashier at the grocery store. It begins with the history of the Biblical blessing in accordance with Jewish law, but then extends to the five elements(meaningful touch, spoken word, expressing high value, picturing a special future, and an active commitment), what to do if you were withheld the blessing (as was in my case) and how to receive healing and God’s blessing over your life now so you can extend it to those around you. I thought I was giving the blessing to my children before reading this book but it really showed me how to bless them from a place of purity and love, not just so I could say I did for them what was never done for me.

While this book has radically changed the way I feel towards and relate to my parents, it was not always an easy read. It hurt. There were moments where I had to stop and grieve what was my reality. In a particular chapter the authors talk about about giving the blessing to your parents and how we have been commanded to do it. I had to put the book down and let that idea sit for a few weeks as the Lord softened my heart. He gave me the grace and the courage to finish it, bless my parents and in doing so I felt His blessing pour over my life, which strengthened me to go out and be a person of blessing.

On a battlefield where we know the enemy is fighting tooth and nail for our relationships with our children, this book is a must. Studies have shown that children and youths who participate in disobedient and deviant behavior are doing so in response to the relationship they share with their parents. While this book is not a fix-it for all your parenting concerns, it will arm you with the knowledge and the desire to give your child a healthy sense of well-being, and also let them know how much they are loved by you and also by their heavenly father.

Part 1 of our behavior chart adventure was actually a great success! Lydia was well-behaved. She received more positive than negative marks on her chart. The only problem is that I was out of town so she was with my parents for two days. Then on the day she was supposed to go out for her reward it was raining and my husband was alone with the kids. He didn’t have the pluck to take both kids out by himself in the rain. (I can’t say I blame him, either.)

So, on my first day home, Lydia was…a nightmare. I called my husband and said, “I wish you had taken Lydia on her reward because she has been SO bad today there is no way we can give it to her.” This has continued all week. She’s had her favorite stuffed animal taken from her. She’s had spankings. She’s been in time out too many times to count. And she just holds on to that rebelliousness ALL DAY LONG.

At about 10:00 this morning I had enough. I sent her to a silent time out in the other room. And I did what all good crazed parents do: I turned to twitter.

Soon I had over 10 responses. (Some of them VERY good, too!)

But this one hit me like a ton of bricks.

(from Sandra at Celebrate Every Day)

I literally smacked my hand to my forehead. It’s obvious my daughter is sinning. The only way to combat sin in our lives is through God’s Word. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!

So, we made another chart (I didn’t even take a picture of it because it’s so ugly. Really.) The top said, “Philippians 2:14: “Do everything without COMPLAINING or ARGUING.”

Then I made two columns on the bottom: one entitled LYDIA and the other entitled MOMMY. I told Lydia that every time she obeys the verse she gets a sticker. And even if I get onto her and she stops and obeys, she’ll get a sticker. But if she doesn’t then I get to make a mark in my section (an X, a line or a sad face).

She LOVED this idea. She was determined to get more stickers than me.

And the rest of the day was a DREAM.

We repeated the verse a lot of times. And each time she did it happily. She said, “OK, Mommy!” every time I asked her to do something. Twice she was reprimanded for something and I could see the internal struggle to pout. Instead she mustered up her self-control and said, “OK, Mommy.” Once we had to say the verse together in the middle of her “internal struggle”. But she said it with a lightness and sweetness in her voice.

I was amazed.

Before we went to bed we reviewed the chart. We talked about how great of a day this was without the whining and trouble. I told her we were only going to do the chart one more day.

Lydia: Why?

Me: Well, why do we obey the Bible? Why do we obey this verse? For stickers?

Lydia: (laughing) Nooo!

Me: We obey because God wants our hearts to obey and love him. This chart and these stickers are just practice so you can really learn how to obey.

Lydia: I’m going to get even MORE stickers tomorrow!

Tonight when we prayed before bedtime I had such a clear picture of WHY God gave us His Word. It isn’t just so we can honor Him. It’s also so OUR lives will be better. When Lydia obeyed, it changed the whole atmosphere of our house. What a picture to me as an adult, a wife and a mother—when I obey God, think of others first and control my mouth the atmosphere around me changes. I will see good things in my life because I’m obeying God!

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photo by pewari

Lydia turned four in January. I feel like it may have flipped a switch inside her. These last 2 weeks have been the most unbelievable—she argues, whines, pouts, stomps her foot and keeps her hair in her face to hide from me when she’s in trouble. Is she 14?!

The last few days have been so bad, I finally pow-wowed with my husband to think of a new way to discipline her. Nothing in our regular bag of tricks was working. We decided to try a little now-and-then discipline. If I had to get onto her 3 times, then my husband would discipline her when he got home, too. (Not as a “mama can’t handle it” but as an additional punishment.)

DID. NOT. WORK.

Then we thought a little positive reinforcement/reward stuff might be better. So I made a chart. It’s not lovely. But it has a few important points…

1. Scripture. I didn’t want a chart that said, “Lydia’s Behavior” or “Don’t Be Naughty”. So, I put Exodus 20:12 in “Lydia’s version” so it said, “Lydia honors her father and mother.”

2. Positive and Negative. I have issues with negative and positive reinforcement. I like the positive stuff but didn’t want to give rewards for false positives (ie. “Wow, you’re smiling, Lydia! You get a sticker!”) and I don’t want to make her think she’s earning my love and approval. And of course, negative reinforcement can always be rough. So. I’m doing a positive AND negative…I put hearts on it for when she does something very awesome (sharing with Asa, obeying immediately, etc.) and blue circles for times I hear her arguing, etc.

3. Her Involvement. I had her write her name at the bottom. I wanted her to be involved and know that she is a part of this chart. We read the verse together. I reminded her that this chart was to show when she was obeying God’s Word. She was very excited and wrote her name with pride!

4. Length. This chart is only for 3 days. I know I can’t expect a 4 year old to be perfect for 2 weeks. But 3 days will be a easy for her (and me!) to pay attention to!

5. Reward. If we deem her chart worthy (I haven’t actually decided how many heart/circles count), she gets to go to a inflatable game place with her Daddy and Asa this weekend.

It’s only been a couple of hours, so I haven’t filled anything in yet. I’m not sure how it’s going to work, but we’ll see. I’ll keep you updated.

Do you have any great ideas about creative discipline and behavior?

for more fun tips (and ones that have actually been, you know, tested visit Works for Me Wednesday!