Impress Your Kids » Blog Archive » To Party or Not to Party?

January 7, 2011 | Filed in: Purposeful Parenting | by Amanda

We are up to our ears in birthday party planning over here! I told you we are doing a “Golden Hair Party” for Lydia’s Golden Birthday this weekend. I absolutely looooove kids’ birthday parties. I’m an event planner by nature and I love thinking up themes and gifts and food that will tie a big party together.

I know some people don’t do birthday parties for kids. It’s a lot of work, money and time. If you have several kids, it’s hard to do a party every other month. Or if you have lots of birthdays in a row, it can be a strain. Some people like to keep birthdays nice and cozy at home with just the immediate family.

Me? I like to do a big party. Here’s a little insight into my birthday philosophy.

My Four Reasons for Birthday Parties:

1. Celebrations

I once heard a Children’s Pastor say, “If you don’t celebrate your child, someone else will.” I’ve never forgotten that. When my son makes an A or makes the cut or gets a new friend–I want him to run to me (and our family) first. I want him to know I’ve always got a high-five and a “way to go” waiting on him.

I don’t want him to look to his peers or any other random person to celebrate with. I want him to feel the most honored, the most loved and the most celebrated at home.

2. Memories

One of the main tools in my parenting toolbox is memories. Vacations, family nights, silly games, work days and birthday parties are perfect opportunities to make some memories. These memories will be like huge rocks laying on the foundation of your children’s lives. It’s not something that will help them make a right choice or overcome temptation, but it will help them know who to come to when they need to make a right choice or overcome a temptation.

3. Traditions

Traditions and making memories are tied for The Most Important Non-Biblical Thing You Can Do With Your Kids. Maybe you eat off the same birthday plate every year, hang up the same silly paper banner, sing “you look like a monkey” or eat angel food cake at every birthday, you are forming a tradition that gives security and comfort to your kids.

4. It’s Just One Day

I think there is just something special about giving your child one day that’s theirs. Not in a selfish you-can-tell-everyone-what-to-do kind of way but more of a “We honor you and all you are.” It makes the whole family stop and say, “Hey, we love you.”

Now, I admit, that birthday parties are kind of a hobby for me. I’m not suggesting everyone do as I do. And I’m not suggesting a big crazy million dollar “Super Sweet 16″ kinda shindig either. But I am encouraging you to make sure to let your child know you see their milestones and honor them. Let them know you celebrate them all the time–regardless of behavior or appearance. Let your child feel the most celebrated by you.

What’s your birthday philosophy?

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photo source: gotbrimmed

11 Comments so far
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We have 3 boys.I always ask them how they want to celebrate their birthday. We have had sleepovers, big parties, pizza parties, cookouts, swim parties, taken a friend to the movies… We focus on letting them choose what they want to do. My youngest turned 4 last week. All he wanted to do was play with his best friend and make strawberry cupcakes, with strawberry icing and real strawberries. Our focus for the day was just on him.Perfect!

seeing as how I just spent the last 30 minutes spray painting a box police car blue for the upcoming party….I’m going to go out on a limb and say our philosophies are pretty much the same.
vanessa@silly eagle books´s last [type] ..5 Books- Live- Learn- Love

I love birthday parties for my boys! I agree – it’s important to celebrate them for who they are – for who God made them… and a birthday is a special time to do that! If we have a party on a day that isn’t their actual birthday, we still give them special treatment on the actual day – favorite food, a gift, and a fun activity. I do try to stay away from the huge parties, though… and I try to make them more like I remember parties from my childhood.

Oh, Amanda… we need to talk. I am always facinated by your elaborate parties and have so much fun joining your journey via cyber-space. I’m a FIRM believer in celebrating our children… but we just do it differently. There are so many *things* (for lack of technical term brain power on a Saturday morning) that go into the HOWs and WHYs of birthday celebrations. Some of the reasons we celebrate the way we do:

1. Very limited budget.
2. Big(er than average) families involved. JUST inviting my parents and my 2 siblings with their kiddos = 20 people!
3. Teacher experience – That sounds dumb, but when I taught I saw many a sixth grader with her friends hauled off in LIMOS for their birthday. Turned me off.
4. Desire that my children FIND JOY in the simple things.
5. Our particular situation. I can have our whole 20-person family meet us at the city pool during regular hours for a “birthday party” and pay $15 and pretty much have the place to ourselves – HA.

We should put our heads together for some sort of “the hows and whys of birthday parties” series or something! Fun!
Amy @ Finer Things´s last [type] ..Weekend Wanderings

Yikes — that was a LONG comment.
Amy @ Finer Things´s last [type] ..Weekend Wanderings

Love your thoughts on parties and celebrating our children. I love birthday parties and my kids spend most of the year planning their next one. I don’t remember having parties as a kid I am hoping that they will carry these memories with them forever. Thanks again!

Oh, I totally agree, Amy. There is something to appreciating the “finer things” that can get lost when you go “all out”. I don’t think doing a big party=celebrating your child. In fact, the “limo parties”? Pretty sure {many} of those parents are doing that to make up for the rest of the year when they don’t celebrate their child at all!!

After I wrote this post, I thought of 2 other things I didn’t mention:
1. The reason Lydia’s 1st birthday was “big” was b/c I have a ton of family/friends in town. Just grandparents/aunts/uncles is about 20 people. Then I added my sisterchicks and they bring another 10+. It’s a happy accident that I have so many people who love my family and are willing to celebrate with me. And this sounds weird but for some reason I think it also celebrates them—I try to plan parties that are fun for their kids and are kind of “family experiences” because I want my friends/family to know I couldn’t raise my kids without them. It’s a time for me to host them and plan something special for them. I know they are bringing a present to my kid, but I hope THEY feel honored, too!
2. This is kind of my hobby. When I was a Children’s Pastor, I loved planning special events (holiday services, festivals, vbs, etc.). I don’t get to do that anymore. This is kind of my outlet for that “gifting”.

Yes, a birthday party series sounds fun—making “big” parties frugal or making “little” parties big?

{how’s THAT for a long comment?!}

[...] at Impress Your Kids shared her philosophy on kids’ birthday parties (love [...]

So wise – “if you don’t celebrate your kids someone else will.”
I just wrote my thoughts on romancing our kids – this totally goes hand in hand with that – love your thoughts on the subject of birthdays!

“romancing your kids”—I love that! It’s true, I want to woo them…not just to me but to God, too!

Have you read Romancing Your Child’s Heart? AMAZING book! I wrote about it in my most recent post – all about romancing them and turning their hearts to Christ.
It’s a great book
Jessica Lynette´s last [type] ..Romancing a Boys Heart

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